Annonce

Eredan iTCG forums move. You can find them at this adress: http://forums.eredan.com/index.php.

Eredan GT forums stay here, the same for the old Eredan iTCG forums who pass in read only.

Les forums d'Eredan iTCG ont déménagés. Retrouvez-les à cette adresse : http://forums.eredan.com/index.php.

Les forums d'Eredan GT restent ici, ainsi que les anciens forums d'Eredan iTCG qui y seront toujours en lecture seule.

#1 01-04-2012 17:25:43

L3lf3
Guémélite
Lieu : Montréal
Inscription : 07-07-2011
Messages : 566

Story's Translation Workshop

Hi everyone !

It's about time to share Eredan's epic story to english speaking community ! Here, with some volunteers, we'll work on it !

IMPORTANT : To keep it clear, if you don't belong to the translator team don't post and send e-mail (here) instead, except if you want to volunteers to help tongue


How it's gonna be handle ?

Three parts :

- A french native speaker* takes a chapter, makes raw translation and then posts it here.

- An english native speaker take this raw translation and rephrases/reworks it.

- We'll discuss it ( if necessary ) and then it's gonna be put in the Wiki. (Or on a new thread with only the finals translations)

* For everything to be fully understand. (expressions, hidden meaning etc.)

For the translators

To keep it clear and understandable I ask you to follow some simple "rules" :

For Raw translation (from french) please use :

[b]Raw translation - chapter title / subtitle[/b]

For corrected/final translation please use :

[b]Final translation - chapter title / subtitle[/b]

Below I'll post a list of chapters (I'll fill the list according to the progress). Please let me now when you start translating (raw/final) one of them. (Follow the chonological order) I'll keep it as up to date as possible.

Translator team

There's no any contracts, work when you want, when you can ! We'll try to reach 2 or 3 chapters by weeks.

FINAL

Kilanjared
MrLordi92
jackal19
LenardCzar

RAW

L3lf3
Khantor
JarodG64
skadooosh

PS : I didn't take back people who volunteers in "The secret of the Crow" thread to let you the choice again tongue Send me an email if you still want to help me tongue

------------------------------------------------------------------

TRANSLATIONS PROGRESS

Chapter title (v.o) : raw / final 

Dernier Espoir                 :  Posted (L3lf3) / Posted (Kilanjared)
Le trésor du Titan            :  Posted (L3lf3) / to do
Noirs Destins
      Chap. 1 : Les éclats de Néhant : In progress (Khantor) / to do
      Chap. 2 : Expériences             : Posted (JarodG64) / to do
Chamanisme                  :  In progress (skadooosh) / to do

Dernière modification par L3lf3 (15-04-2012 19:04:14)


L'esprit est la plus puissante des armes. L3lf3


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#2 01-04-2012 18:00:41

Kilanjared
Habitant de Guem
Lieu : Colorado, USA
Inscription : 29-07-2011
Messages : 306

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Hey all,

Many thanks to L3lf3 for taking on this initiative to get this done!  I think it will be a great benefit to the entire English speaking community here and will definitely get new players more interested in the game!

I just wanted to take a poll on the general interest level of those on the forums in getting an edited version of the existing English chapters completed as well.  I know that the current chapters in the wiki can be unclear at times because of awkward English usage, and I have been thinking of re-writing some to make them more comprehensible.  What would people think of that?  Would that be a big help, or just mostly unnecessary?

I think L3lf3 doesn't want to clog up this thread with too much idle chatter, so if you would all just email your answers to me, that would be great.  I'll gauge the general interest level and get back to you all with the final decision as to whether or not to go through with the translation process on older stories.

Thanks!
Kilanjared


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#3 01-04-2012 19:45:54

MrLordi92
Gardien
Lieu : Rhode Island
Inscription : 05-12-2010
Messages : 1 470

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

I'd like to volunteer myself for finalizing the raw translation and maybe editing the current wiki.  I just have to found the time for it.


"Some say there's no subtly to destruction.  You know what?  They're dead." ~ Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

"One footstep among many is silent.  One footstep alone is deafening."


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#4 02-04-2012 05:58:01

jackal19
Gardien
Lieu : SDM
Inscription : 10-12-2010
Messages : 1 191

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Raises hand* i also want to volunteer on correcting the raw translation and since i have a wiki account i can also put it up once its finished


New englishchat: http://xat.com/EnglisheredanNeo---Online

"Tea is best enjoyed with your fellow monsters"
-Frederica Bernkastel


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#5 02-04-2012 06:05:05

LenardCzar
Habitant de Guem
Inscription : 18-12-2010
Messages : 158

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

I can also help in editing the raw translation if you need more help.


Hors ligne

#6 02-04-2012 18:17:13

L3lf3
Guémélite
Lieu : Montréal
Inscription : 07-07-2011
Messages : 566

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Thank you !

I added you to the team. I'll create a thread in the french forum to find help for the raw part.

I finally end the first chapter, it was longer than I expected but anyway.

First :

As I said, the story in french wasn't write by an actual writer, there are many "unfine" to hear sentences, repetitions, weird sentence's construction etc. I translated as close as possible to the v.o cause I feared to lost meanings so I guess you can change sentences to be more natural.

To be honest my english's level is a school one plus dozen books I read in english (cheaper xD), don't hesitate to ask me if you're not sure about a part/translation. (mail me).

I added informations in italic and between () when I wasn't sure to have chosen the right word.

Raw translation - Last Hope

Download: Last_Hope.docx

Download : Last_Hope.doc

Don't forget to write it here if you start the 2nd phase.

Dernière modification par L3lf3 (02-04-2012 18:26:07)


L'esprit est la plus puissante des armes. L3lf3


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#7 02-04-2012 18:26:59

Kilanjared
Habitant de Guem
Lieu : Colorado, USA
Inscription : 29-07-2011
Messages : 306

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

L3lf3 a écrit :

Thank you !

I added you to the team. I'll create a thread in the french forum to find help for the raw part.

I finally end the first chapter, it was longer than I expected but anyway.

First :

As I said, the story in french wasn't write by an actual writer, there are many "unfine" to hear sentences, repetitions, weird sentence's construction etc. I translated as close as possible to the v.o cause I feared to lost meanings so I guess you can change sentences to be more natural.

Don't hesitate to ask me if you're not sure about a part/translation. (mail me).

I added informations in italic and between () when I wasn't sure to have chosen the right word.

Raw translation - Last Hope

Download: Last_Hope.docx

Download : Last_Hope.doc

Don't forget to write it here if you start the 2nd phase.

I can start refining the story if that's ok with everyone...


Hors ligne

#8 02-04-2012 18:49:34

MrLordi92
Gardien
Lieu : Rhode Island
Inscription : 05-12-2010
Messages : 1 470

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Kilanjared a écrit :
L3lf3 a écrit :

Thank you !

I added you to the team. I'll create a thread in the french forum to find help for the raw part.

I finally end the first chapter, it was longer than I expected but anyway.

First :

As I said, the story in french wasn't write by an actual writer, there are many "unfine" to hear sentences, repetitions, weird sentence's construction etc. I translated as close as possible to the v.o cause I feared to lost meanings so I guess you can change sentences to be more natural.

Don't hesitate to ask me if you're not sure about a part/translation. (mail me).

I added informations in italic and between () when I wasn't sure to have chosen the right word.

Raw translation - Last Hope

Download: Last_Hope.docx

Download : Last_Hope.doc

Don't forget to write it here if you start the 2nd phase.

I can start refining the story if that's ok with everyone...

Okay.  I'd do it if I didn't have work today.  I'll take the next one, then.


"Some say there's no subtly to destruction.  You know what?  They're dead." ~ Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

"One footstep among many is silent.  One footstep alone is deafening."


Hors ligne

#9 02-04-2012 19:11:57

Khantor
Habitant de Guem
Inscription : 14-05-2011
Messages : 207

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Hi all!

I can help you for the Raw translation.

@L3lf3: What have you already done, and what do you want me to do?


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#10 02-04-2012 19:31:00

L3lf3
Guémélite
Lieu : Montréal
Inscription : 07-07-2011
Messages : 566

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Hi all!

I can help you for the Raw translation.

@L3lf3: What have you already done, and what do you want me to do?

Hi ! thank you for your help !

I finished Last Hope and start The titan treasure, you can start with "Noirs Destins Chap. 1 : Les éclats de Néhant" when you got times. I add you to the team.


L'esprit est la plus puissante des armes. L3lf3


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#11 02-04-2012 21:04:20

JarodG64
Eredanien
Lieu : Parcourant les terres de Guem
Inscription : 30-10-2009
Messages : 5 231

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

I am also volunteering for raw translation. I'll start on "Noirs destins / Expériences" tomorrow.


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#12 02-04-2012 21:26:47

skadooosh
Eredanien
Lieu : dans ton c**
Inscription : 04-09-2011
Messages : 3 741

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

JarodG64 a écrit :

I am also volunteering for raw translation. I'll start on "Noirs destins / Expériences" tomorrow.

I'm in for the raw translation...
just tell me from where i have to start... ^^'


===============zil dagger FTW!!================

"-oh mon dieu! ils ont tués Kenny!"
"-espèce d'enfoirés!"


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#13 02-04-2012 21:27:44

Kilanjared
Habitant de Guem
Lieu : Colorado, USA
Inscription : 29-07-2011
Messages : 306

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Alright everyone, here it is!  I'm not quite sure how to attach a file like L3lf3 did, so I'll just paste it right in here so everyone can read it.  Let me know what you think, and, because this is a community effort, feel free to express any changes you think should be made!

If someone needs a Word version of this to upload into a wiki or anything, just email me and I'll send the actual attachment.

Hope you all enjoy!  smile


Last Hope

A tremor shook the village.  Far away, an ice peak suddenly shattered and toppled down, like a house of cards.  This wasn’t the first instance of such a tremor; they were occurring with more and more frequency.  Amethyst Glacier was slowly dying.  In the biggest village of the Ice Elves, who inhabit this part of the world, the situation was quite serious, and all the villagers had gathered in the central square.  Women were crying, and the men worriedly questioned their prophetess, Yilith.

“What will become of us?” asked a man who seemed to be one of the hunters.

“Yes, Prophetess!  Ice is melting and breaking!  What will remain of our village and the glacier!?” exclaimed one of the elves who stood a head taller than the others.

At that moment, another tremor was felt, and the village’s sacred sculpture cracked into pieces.  This statue had been sculpted in the image of a tortured creature held by a chain of amethysts tied together.

Yilith felt great sadness as members of her community screamed in despair.

“I…I have to see Nibelle.”

“Are you sure?  Nibelle told us never to go see her.”

“My vision of the truth begins to darken.  I must make it clear.”

The Ice Elves stood stunned by Yilith’s words.  This darkness foretold the end of Amethyst Glacier and their existence.  Anxiety, already high, overwhelmed them.  Yilith ceased answering questions and hurried away, for time was short.

Yilith walked nonstop for two days, led by a driving desire to fulfill her purpose.  The glaciers were becoming more and more unstable, and Yilith barely escaped death on numerous occasions.  Suddenly, a blizzard descended upon her like a cat upon a mouse.  Fortunately, Ice Elves are impervious to the cold, and Yilith found herself hampered only by snowflakes in her eyes and the wind slowing her pace.  Relentlessly, she continued onward to the home of the old Ice Elf, Nibelle.  Yilith had learned everything she knew about divination and spiritual communication from Nibelle.  After many years, Nibelle had simply vanished with nothing but a letter addressed to Yilith.  The message inside consisted of only a few words: “It is time for me to leave my position to my apprentice.  I am leaving to go to the Soul Breach.  I forbid you to approach this damned place.”  Everyone had heeded her command… until today.

Yilith finally reached her destination, but she almost didn’t recognize the place she had seen so many years before.  The Breach had transformed into a gaping whole resembling a giant wound.  The Prophetess called upon her powers to determine the best way down, for she felt a divine power at work, a power which felt to her like a familiar presence.  Nibelle was here, somewhere below, possibly in a dangerous situation.  In this place, the ice was solid and mixed with amethyst crystals.  Yilith could not avoid being cut by these sharp edges, but this was not a problem for Yilith and her healing powers.  When she eventually reached the bottom of the Breach, she saw a path that had been dug out of the ice.  Her decision to go inside was quickly settled by another tremor, which sent shards of ice and amethyst crashing down on her from above, almost crushing her.

Yilith lit an oil lamp and proceeded with caution.  The path led to stairs dug into the ice, and from here, Yilith could hear someone speaking.  Yilith recognized the voice of the one she was seeking.  Without hesitation, she bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time in her hurry.  She found herself in a half-spherical room.  There, an old Ice Elf knelt, praying in front of a gigantic black door.  Six gems of various shapes and colors protruded from the surface of the door.  One of these gems, which appeared to have started out red, had stopped shining colorfully and had split open.  Yilith avoided this, and approached her fellow Ice Elf with caution.

“Don’t come any further, my child.  Sit down, we must talk.”

The old Ice Elf did not move, and her lips remained closed.  She was communicating telepathically.

“What is happening, Nibelle?  Why is the ice melting?” asked Yilith quickly.

“The unthinkable, Yilith.  The unthinkable is happening.  I won’t have all the answers for your questions, but I will enlighten you about this place.  A little more than an Ice Elf’s life ago, the world was struck by sinister events: a total war against Nehant and his followers.  They ravaged entire lands before they were stopped by Eredan and his heroes.  Behind this door is locked Amidaraxar, the most powerful of Nehant’s lieutenants.  He slumbers here under my surveillance since times long past.”

“I knew the story about Nehant, but I was unaware of what was contained within the Glacier’s depths!”

“I have thus far contained his energy with amethyst and ice, but an odd phenomenon is occurring.  The ice is now melting, and I am losing more and more of my capacity to maintain this prison.  Amidaraxar wakes little by little.  I have already lost one of the stones which locked the door.”

“What can I do?  Can I help you channel energy?”

“I am already draining all the energy I have.  I believe that we will need to find external help.  Go to other nations and seek aid; explain what’s happening here.  Be quick!  We have no time to lose!”

“I will send you Kyrjas.  They will help lighten your burden.”

Yilith did as she was asked.  After a short stop at her village to explain the situation, she gathered her things and hit the road.  She had never before crossed the Glass Tooth, which served as the border between the Glacier, territory of the Elves, and the large cold and barren lands where nomadic humans roam.  How great was her surprise when she reached the border!  The snow was melting, and icebergs floated between the mainland and the Glacier.  The Glass Tooth, which was actually huge quartz crystals, protruded from the water. 

Yilith knew that one tribe lived not far from this location, and she began to head in that direction with this terrible disaster in mind.  But the village was steaming and hissing.  The chief explained to Yilith that this region had become too dangerous, and many of the villagers had already died while hunting.  They now planned on leaving and joining with another village only a day’s walk away.  The Prophetess blessed them for a safe journey, and the villagers offered Yilith a boat to help her in her travels.  With this, Yilith left for the continent to search for providential help. 

Unfortunately, everyone Yilith encountered did not have enough knowledge to properly answer her inquiries.  She crossed the Xzia Empire, and her instincts led her to the Yafujima Temple.  She was welcomed by a monk named Toran, who gave her a lead to follow.

“Months ago, a stone fell from the sky a few days away from here.  Since that time, the world has begun going crazy.  Guilds are fighting each other to take possession of it, and old bitterness has resurfaced.  That stone appears to have powers which are unknown to us.  Perhaps the troubles which you have witnessed have been caused by the insidious workings of the stone.”

“This information is invaluable.  I will take a look at the stone and evaluate it myself.”

“Good luck, and may the Kamis keep you safe.”

“I do not know these ‘Kamis’, but I thank you,” said Yilith as she left.

She followed Toran’s instructions and crossed the few miles which separated her from Okia, and later the Tomb of the Ancestors.  She began to feel over the past few miles the presence of something or someone.  She heard words, whispering, like a sweet song.  The closer she got to her destination, the clearer the song became. 

She saw the stone that fell from the sky, huge and majestic.  Many camps were settled all around her, and there appeared to be some agitation among them.  She continued to approach the stone as those who passed her stopped to stare at her incredible body.  Without even being aware of it, attracted like a fly to honey, Yilith crossed the barrier surrounding the stone which no one else had managed to cross and put her hand upon it.

She felt her soul get pulled from her body and into the stone.  She floated in a space with no floor or sky; all was completely luminous.  A shape materialized before her.  It was like that of an Ice Elf, but its hair and eyes were all white.

“I took this form so that you would not be afraid of me.”

“I was not afraid.  What are you?”

“I am Guem’s Plague, sent to plunge this world into darkness.”

“Is it your fault that the Amethyst Glacier is melting?”

“Perhaps, but that is of no importance.”

“It is important for ME!  My people are suffering because of it!”

“Your suffering shall not last.  It shall be replaced by your obliteration.”

“Do you truly believe that we will allow you to do this?”

“Do you believe that you can resist?  You are nothing!  Those for whom I was waiting are here at last.  Soon I shall be released and will ravage this world, until nothing remains.”

“Let me out of here!”

“I cannot.  You shall be my first victim.”

The light around her grew brighter, and Yilith felt a violent aggression.  Something incredibly powerful was trying to destroy her.  She began to struggle, and it felt as if a fire was burning inside of her.  The Prophetess did her best to resist.  She remembered Nibelle’s teachings and concentrated on escaping this place.  She was suddenly expelled from the stone as she heard the words,

“Nooooo!  You shall not escape my wrath! I….”

She opened her eyes, breathless and covered in sweat.  She stumbled back, swayed, then fell on her knees.

The world was in grave danger.  If no one was able to stop the Guem Plague, it would be the end…

Dernière modification par Kilanjared (02-04-2012 22:01:42)


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#14 02-04-2012 21:58:01

L3lf3
Guémélite
Lieu : Montréal
Inscription : 07-07-2011
Messages : 566

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Nice work ! We'll wait for another english native speaker to validate, but as for me, no meaning has been lost.

A detail : "One of these gems, which started out red, stopped shining and split open." The crystal is already "dead" when she enters the rooms. She just guesses it was once red before the color fades.

Thank again all newcomers !


And may the Kotoba wins the war ! What ? Off topic ? No no ... xD


L'esprit est la plus puissante des armes. L3lf3


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#15 02-04-2012 22:00:05

Kilanjared
Habitant de Guem
Lieu : Colorado, USA
Inscription : 29-07-2011
Messages : 306

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

L3lf3 a écrit :

Nice work ! We'll wait for another english native speaker to validate, but as for me, no meaning has been lost.

A detail : "One of these gems, which started out red, stopped shining and split open." The crystal is already "dead" when she enters the rooms. She just guesses it was once red before the color fades.

Thank again all newcomers !


And may the Kotoba wins the war ! What ? Off topic ? No no ... xD

Ahhhh, ok!  I struggled with interpreting that part!  Thanks for the clarification!  I have edited that post and tried to fix that.

Dernière modification par Kilanjared (02-04-2012 22:02:25)


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#16 02-04-2012 22:11:02

L3lf3
Guémélite
Lieu : Montréal
Inscription : 07-07-2011
Messages : 566

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

To be honest I struggled too xD
Another translation could be "One of them, which was probably red once
ceased to shine and got torn apart"


L'esprit est la plus puissante des armes. L3lf3


Hors ligne

#17 03-04-2012 05:41:59

MrLordi92
Gardien
Lieu : Rhode Island
Inscription : 05-12-2010
Messages : 1 470

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Kilanjared a écrit :

Last Hope

A tremor shook the village.  Far away, an ice peak suddenly shattered and toppled down, like a house of cards.  This wasn’t the first instance of such a tremor; they were occurring with more and more frequency.  Amethyst Glacier was slowly dying.  In the largest village of the Ice Elves, who inhabit this part of the world, the situation was quite serious, and all the villagers had gathered in the central square.  Women were crying, and the men worriedly questioned their prophetess, Yilith.

“What will become of us?”  Asked a man who seemed to be one of the hunters.

“Yes, Prophetess!  Ice is melting and breaking!  What will remain of our village and the glacier!?”  Exclaimed one of the elves who stood a head taller than the others.

At that moment, another tremor was felt, and the village’s sacred sculpture cracked into pieces.  This statue had been sculpted in the image of a tortured creature held by a chain of amethyst, tied together.

Yilith felt great sadness as her community screamed in despair.

“I…I have to see Nibelle.”

“Are you sure?  Nibelle told us never to go see her.”

“My vision of the truth begins to darken.  I must make it clear.”

The Ice Elves stood stunned by Yilith’s words.  This darkness foretold the end of Amethyst Glacier and their existence.  Anxiety overwhelmed them.  Yilith ceased answering questions and hurried away.  There wasn't much time.

Yilith walked nonstop for two days, led by a driving desire to fulfill her purpose.  The glaciers were becoming more and more unstable, and Yilith barely escaped death on numerous occasions.  Suddenly, a blizzard descended upon her like a cat upon a mouse.  Fortunately, Ice Elves are impervious to the cold, and Yilith found herself hampered only by snowflakes in her eyes and the wind slowing her pace.  Relentlessly, she continued onward to the home of the old Ice Elf, Nibelle.  Yilith had learned everything she knew about divination and spiritual communication from Nibelle.  After many years, Nibelle had simply vanished with nothing but a letter addressed to Yilith.  The message inside consisted of only a few words: “It is time for me to leave my position to my apprentice.  I am leaving to go to the Soul Breach.  I forbid you to approach this damned place.”  Everyone had heeded her command… until today.

Yilith finally reached her destination, but she almost didn’t recognize the place she had seen so many years before.  The Breach had transformed into a gaping hole resembling a giant wound.  The Prophetess called upon her powers to determine the best way down.  She felt a divine power at work, a power which felt like a familiar presence.  Nibelle was here, somewhere below.  Possibly in a dangerous situation.  In this place, the ice was solid and mixed with amethyst crystals.  Yilith could not avoid being cut by these sharp edges, but this was not a problem for her healing powers.  When she eventually reached the bottom of the Breach, she saw a path that had been dug out of the ice.  Her decision to go inside was quickly settled by another tremor, which sent shards of ice and amethyst crashing down on her from above, almost crushing her.

Yilith lit an oil lamp and proceeded with caution.  The path led to stairs dug into the ice, and from here, Yilith could hear someone speaking.  Yilith recognized the voice of the one she was seeking.  Without hesitation, she bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time in her hurry.  She found herself in a half-spherical room.  There, an old Ice Elf knelt, praying in front of a gigantic black door.  Six gems of various shapes and colors protruded from the surface of the door.  One of these gems, which appeared to have started out red, had stopped shining colorfully and had split open.  Yilith avoided this, and approached her fellow Ice Elf with caution.

"Don’t come any further, my child.  Sit down.  We must talk."  The old Ice Elf did not move, and her lips remained closed.  She was communicating telepathically.

“What is happening, Nibelle?  Why is the ice melting?” asked Yilith quickly.

“The unthinkable, Yilith.  The unthinkable is happening.  I won’t have all the answers for your questions, but I will enlighten you about this place.  A little more than an Ice Elf’s life ago, the world was struck by sinister events: a total war against Nehant and his followers.  They ravaged entire lands before they were stopped by Eredan and his heroes.  Behind this locked door is Amidaraxar, the most powerful of Nehant’s lieutenants.  He slumbers here under my surveillance since times long past.”

“I knew the story about Nehant, but I was unaware of what was contained within the Glacier’s depths!”

“I have thus far contained his energy with amethyst and ice, but an odd phenomenon is occurring.  The ice is now melting, and I am having trouble maintaining the prison.  Amidaraxar wakes little by little.  I have already lost one of the stones that locks the door.”

“What can I do?  Can I help you channel energy?”

“I am already draining all the energy I have.  I believe we will need to find external help.  Go to other nations and seek aid; explain what’s happening here.  Be quick!  We have no time to lose!”

“I will send you Kyrjas.  They will help lighten your burden.”

Yilith did as she was asked.  After a short stop at her village to explain the situation, she gathered her things and hit the road.  She had never before crossed the Glass Tooth, which served as the border between the Glacier, territory of the Elves, and the large cold and barren lands where nomadic humans roam.  How great was her surprise when she reached the border!  The snow was melting, and icebergs floated between the mainland and the Glacier.  The Glass Tooth, which was actually huge quartz crystals, protruded from the water. 

Yilith knew that one tribe lived not far from this location, and she began to head in that direction with this terrible disaster in mind.  But the village was steaming and hissing.  The chief explained to Yilith that this region had become too dangerous, and many of the villagers had already died while hunting.  They now planned on leaving and joining with another village only a day’s walk away.  The Prophetess blessed them for a safe journey, and the villagers offered Yilith a boat to help her in her travels.  With this, Yilith left for the continent to search for providential help. 

Unfortunately, everyone Yilith encountered did not have enough knowledge to properly answer her inquiries.  She crossed the Xzia Empire, and her instincts led her to the Yafujima Temple.  She was welcomed by a monk named Toran, who gave her a lead to follow.

“Months ago, a stone fell from the sky a few days away from here.  Since that time, the world has begun going crazy.  Guilds are fighting each other to take possession of it, and old bitterness has resurfaced.  That stone appears to have powers which are unknown to us.  Perhaps the troubles which you have witnessed have been caused by the insidious workings of the stone.”

“This information is invaluable.  I will take a look at the stone and evaluate it myself.”

“Good luck, and may the Kamis keep you safe.”

“I do not know these ‘Kamis’, but I thank you,” said Yilith as she left.

She followed Toran’s instructions and crossed the few miles which separated her from Okia, and later the Tomb of the Ancestors.  She began to feel over the past few miles the presence of something or someone.  She heard words, whispering, like a sweet song.  The closer she got to her destination, the clearer the song became. 

She saw the stone that fell from the sky, huge and majestic.  Many camps were settled all around her, and there appeared to be some agitation among them.  She continued to approach the stone as those who passed her stopped to stare at her incredible body.  Without even being aware of it, attracted like a fly to honey, Yilith crossed the barrier surrounding the stone which no one else had managed to cross and put her hand upon it.

She felt her soul get pulled from her body and into the stone.  She floated in a space with no floor or sky; all was completely luminous.  A shape materialized before her.  It was like that of an Ice Elf, but its hair and eyes were all white.

“I took this form so that you would not be afraid of me.”

“I was not afraid.  What are you?”

“I am Guem’s Plague, sent to plunge this world into darkness.”

“Is it your fault that the Amethyst Glacier is melting?”

“Perhaps, but that is of no importance.”

“It is important for me!  My people are suffering because of it!”

“Your suffering shall not last.  It shall be replaced by your obliteration.”

“Do you truly believe that we will allow you to do this?”

“Do you believe that you can resist?  You are nothing!  Those for whom I was waiting are here at last.  Soon I shall be released and will ravage this world, until nothing remains.”

“Let me out of here!”

“I cannot.  You shall be my first victim.”

The light around her grew brighter, and Yilith felt a violent aggression.  Something incredibly powerful was trying to destroy her.  She began to struggle, and it felt as if a fire was burning inside of her.  The Prophetess did her best to resist.  She remembered Nibelle’s teachings and concentrated on escaping this place.  She was suddenly expelled from the stone as she heard the words,

“Nooooo!  You shall not escape my wrath! I….”

She opened her eyes, breathless and covered in sweat.  She stumbled back, swayed, then fell to her knees.

The world was in grave danger.  If no one was able to stop the Guem Plague, it would be the end…

Touched it up a bit.


"Some say there's no subtly to destruction.  You know what?  They're dead." ~ Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

"One footstep among many is silent.  One footstep alone is deafening."


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#18 03-04-2012 06:22:47

LenardCzar
Habitant de Guem
Inscription : 18-12-2010
Messages : 158

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

MrLordi92 a écrit :
Kilanjared a écrit :

Last Hope

Touched it up a bit.

Nice! The translation's perfect for me...


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#19 03-04-2012 06:41:51

jackal19
Gardien
Lieu : SDM
Inscription : 10-12-2010
Messages : 1 191

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

LenardCzar a écrit :
MrLordi92 a écrit :
Kilanjared a écrit :

Last Hope

Touched it up a bit.

Nice! The translation's perfect for me...

permission to put it on the wiki?


New englishchat: http://xat.com/EnglisheredanNeo---Online

"Tea is best enjoyed with your fellow monsters"
-Frederica Bernkastel


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#20 03-04-2012 06:46:18

magius
Solarian
Inscription : 21-09-2010
Messages : 703

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

Actually you can put it up to wiki oce your have a nice cleanup. Other community members can contribute at wiki level if they wish to. But with the level of translation here, I think it is already in a very good shape.

I can help with the wiki upload and format/touch up at wiki level if you like :-)


Magius [FH] FullHouse Clan


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#21 03-04-2012 07:14:05

jackal19
Gardien
Lieu : SDM
Inscription : 10-12-2010
Messages : 1 191

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

magius a écrit :

Actually you can put it up to wiki oce your have a nice cleanup. Other community members can contribute at wiki level if they wish to. But with the level of translation here, I think it is already in a very good shape.

I can help with the wiki upload and format/touch up at wiki level if you like :-)

much appreciated yeah the wiki needs some tweaking i think


New englishchat: http://xat.com/EnglisheredanNeo---Online

"Tea is best enjoyed with your fellow monsters"
-Frederica Bernkastel


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#22 03-04-2012 08:14:02

magius
Solarian
Inscription : 21-09-2010
Messages : 703

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

jackal19 a écrit :
magius a écrit :

Actually you can put it up to wiki oce your have a nice cleanup. Other community members can contribute at wiki level if they wish to. But with the level of translation here, I think it is already in a very good shape.

I can help with the wiki upload and format/touch up at wiki level if you like :-)

much appreciated yeah the wiki needs some tweaking i think

Okay... I will try to reformat the Wiki. The first step is to break the Chapters into different pages and keep the first page for summaries and short history. It is far too much to scroll through the wall of storyline text within 1 page O.o


Magius [FH] FullHouse Clan


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#23 03-04-2012 08:18:11

jackal19
Gardien
Lieu : SDM
Inscription : 10-12-2010
Messages : 1 191

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

magius a écrit :
jackal19 a écrit :
magius a écrit :

Actually you can put it up to wiki oce your have a nice cleanup. Other community members can contribute at wiki level if they wish to. But with the level of translation here, I think it is already in a very good shape.

I can help with the wiki upload and format/touch up at wiki level if you like :-)

much appreciated yeah the wiki needs some tweaking i think

Okay... I will try to reformat the Wiki. The first step is to break the Chapters into different pages and keep the first page for summaries and short history. It is far too much to scroll through the wall of storyline text within 1 page O.o

yeah i was wondering how to break them into diff pages sorry about the great wall of text XD


New englishchat: http://xat.com/EnglisheredanNeo---Online

"Tea is best enjoyed with your fellow monsters"
-Frederica Bernkastel


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#24 03-04-2012 08:47:00

magius
Solarian
Inscription : 21-09-2010
Messages : 703

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

jackal19 a écrit :
magius a écrit :
jackal19 a écrit :

much appreciated yeah the wiki needs some tweaking i think

Okay... I will try to reformat the Wiki. The first step is to break the Chapters into different pages and keep the first page for summaries and short history. It is far too much to scroll through the wall of storyline text within 1 page O.o

yeah i was wondering how to break them into diff pages sorry about the great wall of text XD

Act page separation done. It will be great to include a summary for each Act. But still I will start cleaning up Act by Act, Chapter by Chapter to have consistent formatting.


Magius [FH] FullHouse Clan


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#25 03-04-2012 08:50:15

jackal19
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Lieu : SDM
Inscription : 10-12-2010
Messages : 1 191

Re : Story's Translation Workshop

magius a écrit :
jackal19 a écrit :
magius a écrit :

Okay... I will try to reformat the Wiki. The first step is to break the Chapters into different pages and keep the first page for summaries and short history. It is far too much to scroll through the wall of storyline text within 1 page O.o

yeah i was wondering how to break them into diff pages sorry about the great wall of text XD

Act page separation done. It will be great to include a summary for each Act. But still I will start cleaning up Act by Act, Chapter by Chapter to have consistent formatting.

yeah i  just took a peek good job now its more organized and easier to correct and reformat


New englishchat: http://xat.com/EnglisheredanNeo---Online

"Tea is best enjoyed with your fellow monsters"
-Frederica Bernkastel


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